In the last decade, the journal Violence Against Women “reported physical aggression in 88.2 per cent of leading pornography scenes and verbal aggression in 48.7 per cent, with 94.4 per cent of the aggression directed towards women and girls”. Gay Daisy asserts an excellent point, violence against women can seem impossible to avoid in porn that stars and features female actors. “I watch gay porn because I get to see the kinks I like without the uncomfortable trauma of men hurting women,” commented on Instagram.
So while other teens were getting their rocks off exploring their kinks, I was exploring how to get my rocks off without addressing any of mine.Īs I got older I continued to ignore that I gravitated toward a pornographic landscape that didn’t call attention to my sexuality and found other reasons for rationalising it. And thus “gay” was added to my search bar. I just wanted to feel something to feel good.Īfter previewing hundreds of videos I came to understand what worked for me and what didn’t. Learning about sex was the last thing on my mind. I had all this pent up sexual energy and my midnight search escapades felt too good to stop. The only bit of wiggle room I could find was matters of personal pleasure.Īround the age of 13 I gave into the urge to explore porn. So when it came to dating and sex, I circumvented the hell out of that s**t. Anything that contextualised women as sexual made me freeze up like a kid getting caught sneaking a midnight slice of cake. For me this manifested as “your fav”, an avoidant mentality and action plan.
Living a lonely life that conflicts with the desires of your body, mind and soul. For most queers, growing up closeted creates an internal tension.